Living the dream of your life feels amazing. Knowing that you are happy and knowing your making it in life. You know you did the right thing when you are succeeding in life. I am living it and it feels great. Now that I am going to graduate I feel like I succeeded in life and I feel unique. Knowing that I will have a better future and will accomplish all my career dreams. After high school college will be my number one goal next in my life. It feels great when you know you did the right thing for your family to have a better future. If you can do it once you can do it twice. Going to school was fun you get to meet new people new friends and new goals. Encouraging yourself to make your goals its kind of hard most of the times you need someone to encourage you and be there for you when you need help. And those people are your teachers. They are the ones that are there to listen and help you with what ever school problems you have. Nothing feels better that when your teachers tell you that you are in the right way and help you to develop a new peace of mind called intelligence. Helping you know what goes around the world and new things for learning. Accomplishing your dreams helps because it means you have a good future coming.
My goals in life is to be the greatest cosmetologist ever. Go to nursing school is also in my list. There are many things I want to become in life and I know I can, because I have supportive people around me and I know they are leading me to the right path. When I was in middle school and pregnant all thought of was how am I going ti raise a child and finish school at the same time?
Back then i didnt have any one who could tell me I can do it and I will have a great future, I was depressed and sad all the time. My family would believe in me because I was 13 and pregnant. People would make fun of me and not support the idea that I was pregnant and still coming to school. At the same time I felt proud of myself because all of my old friends who would get pregnant would drop out. And now they don't have a good job to support their babies couch surfing all the time an living hunger with their child. I have lived that life but I m still in school and I m proud of that because I m actually becoming someone in life and my child has a great home where she has everything she needs. She is my only reason why I m graduating from high school and my reason to be alive. I would give everything just to see her smile.
My life has been pretty hard, child abuse, drugs have been around me my whole life. Me and my sister have been through a lot starvation, homeless, hydration, no clothes or shoes no education and child abuse and sexually abuse ever since I was three years old. Now that I know what I went through I will make sure my daughter never goes through it because I love her and I will make sure she does the same thing as me never give up and to believe in her self. Education it is very important because it is the future what we are seeking for in life, and I want the best for her and for my family.
When I was three years old I was sexually abused by my grandfather. That happened for over 2 years. We lived in school bus with no water no food and no clothes. I would cry all the time because I wanted to take a shower and look pretty for school have new shoes and have a new perspective of life. I was only a child and me and my sister would get beat up all the time for no reason by our grandparents. When people would see us in the streets with black eyes they would ask what happened, but we couldn't answer because we would get beat up even worse. We would cry because they would always get drunk and my grandma would get beat up and we had to see that. I had to see my sister go hunger getting skinny and sick. I would cry because I wanted a different life I wanted to be respected by other people and to let them know that we were human beings not just a poop family.
I remember my first day of school it was so embarrassing because I had no shoes and I was wearing the same clothes I had for three years. My hair looked horrible all greasy and dirty really disgusting. I was so embarrassed people laughing at me and looking at me like if I was crazy. Nobody talked to me or liked me. I had to starve because I didn't have money to buy my lunch, we didn't had food at home to take for lunch. Until one of my teachers asked me why I didn’t I went out for lunch and work on my homework during lunch time. I just told him because I really wanted to do well in school and because I liked my homework. Until one day he asked for my address which didn’t know so I took him to where I lived and he saw how we lived and all the problems we had. He helped us and he would give us food ant school supplies I needed for school. He was a great person and I will always remember him because he was the reason why I passed first grade. My second year wasn’t that bad because I worked selling gum and candies on the streets. It wasn’t that bad because at least we had Three Pesos to buy some food. I kept on working hard in school and at home to have and buy what we needed.
When I was eight years old I was sexually abused again. I didn’t understand why guys do this to me. I was afraid to speak, I had to keep it to my self and deal with it my self. I was ashamed off my self because I let it happen, but what could I have done if I was just a little girl he was stronger than me and he was my grandmas best friend. I was afraid she didn’t believe me and get beat up again. So I never told what he did to me, besides I was the only one who was sexually abused and thank god my sister wasn’t a victim of such an abuse like that. Years passed, when I was 11 I was sexually abused again by an uncle of mine I had told my mom and she wanted to kill him but he wasn’t worth it so my mom just beat him up and we never saw him again. I was happy he was far away from me but I felt bad for my ant and her kids cause they had to live with out a dad. So my ant had to work hard, but years later he came back and took care of his family.
At thirteen I got pregnant but still was in school and did my best. I knew I was going to have a big responsibility so I had t work twice as hard, and I did. With out Mariana's dad I made it now she is almost four years old and she is still with her mommy. Mariana's dad and I broke up when I was three months pregnant. He was never around and till now I have not seen him or have any idea what is up with his life. I m happy like that and I m pretty sure Mariana is too. There where times when she had asked me for her dad, I didn’t know what to say but all I had said to her was that he wasn’t around and one day we will look for him together. One time she told me if he was lost and I started crying so I told her that yea he was and one day we will find him. I never did but I we don't need him I gave her life and education, food, clothes and everything she needed. When Mariana was 2 years old I got in a fight with my mom and I left home for a couple days, but hose couple of days Mariana and I were eating out of a trash can. I couldn’t believe it but we had to because we didn't have anything else to eat and no money to buy something at the gas station. And when I was in that situation I was remembering how I was 11 years ago. I could not my daughter starve so I had to feed her out of a trash can. I was happy because we had made it through the day, but at the same time I was sad and depressed. The only one who was there for was Mariana and I am grateful because she is the only one I need for me to be happy.
When I was seventeen I was sexually abused by four guys. This time I told, and felt better for telling because I couldn’t take it any more. I couldn’t walk for two weeks bleeding myself out and I was really week. Four guys raped me and It hurt because I never expected that. I thought it was over. I had to go through it one more time but this time I was stronger and smarted because I did the right thing to tell. My parents thought that I wanted it at first. I felt so bad because they didn’t believe me and I was in so much pain. The only ones who were there were two of my teachers Laura Smith and April Moon. I felt protected at that time because they were there for me to comfort and tell me that I was a great person, and I believed them because they were there sharing tears with me. I love my teachers even though some of them weren’t there at the hospital they were there to make me realize that I was a good person and I can be happy. I am scare that Mariana would go through the same thing I did, but as long she is next to me nothing will happen to her, because I will love her and take care of her like if she was soul.
In reality I am so grateful for having my teachers and friends. They motivated me to be strong and be a unique person in life. I am a better person because what doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger. I thank my teachers for being there for me and making believe in my self. Because of them I am graduating and making it in life. I will show all those people that I am a different person but a better one. I will make it and go to college I will do everything to raise my family and live happy together. Like I always say give me a firm place to stand, and I will move the earth.